I thought I'd put out another book review, this time of I text I bought at a bookstore while in Iowa with my folks for Christmas. The title is
Handfasting and Wedding Rituals: Inviting Hera's Blessing, by Raven Kaldera and Tannin Schwartzstein (2003).
I'd like to preface my actual review by saying that I really, really liked this book. It was incredibly inclusive and accessible, and altogether a thoughtful, well-composed read.
Never having seen a text solely devoted to Pagan weddings before, I immediately knew that this was going to be a take-home item for me. Regardless of whether or not I ever have a handfasting ritual of my own, the fact remains that I have multiple friends who might, and truthfully, it seems important to understand the wedding ceremonial practices of whatever religion one subscribes to.
The book has a dozen or so subheadings, and the information therein spans everything from party favors and choices of incense to developing Quarter calls which won't freak out any of the non-Pagans in the crowd. In fact, that's one thing among many that the book does very well - developing level one, two, and three suggestions, the authors provide varying levels of Pagan over- and undertones. For example, if one wants a handfasting but also wants to invite one's extremely conservative Christian relatives, Raven and Tannin offer level one rituals wherein the Paganism is there, but it's subtle enough that it shouldn't cause an issue. If one is on the opposite end of the spectrum and wants a hardcore Pagan wedding with as much overt ritual as possible, they provide that, too, in the level three handfastings. Level two rituals are written to be somewhere in the middle - a bit of Pagan Lite, if you will - for people whose family and friends are generally supportive, but would be uncomfortable with an ultra-Pagan ceremony.
Another thing that the book does incredibly well is to develop rituals that any couple can participate in. If one or more partners has a physical disability, but would still like to incorporate the traditional jumping of the broomstick, Raven and Tannin provide accessible alternatives. For all those same-sex Pagan couples out there? Raven and Tannin have an entire chapter devoted to LGBTQ+ handfastings, with specific rituals for transgender, genderfluid, bisexual, and polyamourous couples, in addition to the commonly-acknowledged gay and lesbian relationships. Moreover, for those same-sex couples who want to incorporate the symbolic Great Rite in a way they can identify with, the authors provide solutions. Is your significant other of a different religion? Raven and Tannin take that into account as well, providing examples of how to blend wedding traditions across religious lines for Catholics, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, and so forth.
For all my fellow theatre lovers out there, have you considered including a bit of drama in your handfasting? If reenactment of mythological weddings (Hades and Persephone, Janet and Tam Lin, etc.) sounds like something you might be interested in, this book provides sample scripts, as well as ideas for costumes and props.
No book is ever perfect, but in general my criticisms here are minor ones. On occasion, the language used was probably more appropriate to the year in which it was published then present day. Couples may find that the substitution of a word here or there is the only change really necessary.
Also, it would have been nice to see a handfasting included for we Pagans on the asexual spectrum. So much of the language in our rituals, no matter which book one reads, focuses on fertility, sacred sex, and etcetera. I don't take issue with that - in many cases, the language is beautifully poetic - but it's not the intent of every couple to "get busy" after they're married. That being said, most of the rituals are pretty easily adapted by changing a handful of words, so it's not like it's a huge deal, either.
Anyway, if you have any interest in learning more about handfasting in Pagan traditions, I strongly recommend you check out this book.
.JPG)
